i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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