she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
