his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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