Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize