She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
