I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
