He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize
