I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
