I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
