apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
