i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
