so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
