from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
...so i touched it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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