my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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