Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
