if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
