I want to make a zoo with you.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize