just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
