Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize