Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
