I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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