I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
