I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
