My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
