i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
