Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
