Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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