I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i believe in u and ur pee
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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