Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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