he shaved USA in his pubs
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
