I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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