Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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