He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
