dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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