Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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