So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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