pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I have feelings that need drinking.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
