He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
