maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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