She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
