So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
