You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
