went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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