PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
