Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Randomize
