What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
