I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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