Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
