I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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