I accidentally had phone sex last night
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
