i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
