So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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