I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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