11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize