Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
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