New low: just hacked my moms facebook
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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