He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
