Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
