Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
