so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
